The computer creatures

This is something I think about a lot of times when I am sitting on my comp. When I see processes moving slow, or very fast due to more or less load, I always imagine little creatures inside the CPU working really fast. When you are doing too many things, they can't multitask, and therefore everything becomes slow. If the comp is on for too long, they are tired, and everything gets delayed. Otherwise, they work in perfect sync, passing on information to each other and quickly finishing work.


So here is an attempt at a story, based on that imagination of mine.

The computer creatures

They were sleeping peacefully after a long night of running around when they were suddenly roused early in the morning. Work beckoned again. They got up lethargically and started carrying the items to their right places. Within microseconds, their speed had increased 10 times and they were rushing about faster than light. The little orbs of information had to be transported from place to place, and it was their job, their life to do it.

An authoritative voice shouted out orders into the loudspeaker. Some file had to be opened, and the little green creatures turned the key hanging around their necks and opened the large file in a micro-micro second. At the same time, there were orders to move a 'boulder file', as they called it, to the far end of the area. Immediately, many of them rushed to the spot and lifted the boulder to carry it across.

That was not enough, it was time to set up 'the connection'. As if working within the area wasn't enough, now it was time to work with other green creatures, in other areas. Did the humans even know how chaotic and exhausting that was? Did they even know how many casualties that led to? One 'virus' and half the area could be affected by the plague and be wiped out. Plus, everyone was afraid of that 'Worldwide Web'. It was like the black hole. No one knew where it led to, what would emerge out of it, or even where it would lead them. Only the daredevil ones ventured into that profession. The meek and timid ones stayed back and took care of the area work. They managed the old files, managed the backups and archiving, sat in the library for hours and took care of all those details. Adventure was a bit too much for them.

The portal to the black hole had been opened, and a few daredevils plunged in with their parachutes. They had special search torches to find their way in case they were lost. And they hoped to God that the human had hired the special forces for security against the terrorist viruses! Because only the specialists had training in recognising unwanted elements before opening or bringing them home.


As the day progressed, the green creatures were reaching the limits of exhaustion. The movers team was working ever so slowly, and parcels would just get stuck mid-way because someone had collapsed on some aisle. Yes yes, the human was frustrated with the 'not responding' errors, but there is only so much a green creature can do. Everyone has their limits.

Dragging their feet along the ground, the daredevil team finally returned home. It was a good adventure today, no casualties, just a lot of exhaustion and work. They had to rest before the next trip now, because, well, you couldn't trust the humans. They would press the buzzer and wake everyone up at any time. Better to catch a few winks when you can!

So, buzz ya later! Keep clicking.

OvenFresh - A Vegetarian Delight

I am a vegetarian. That means, finding a good place to eat gets quite difficult. At best, you get the regular Udipi or some fancy looking restaurant that serves very ordinary Punjabi fare. Honestly, I stay away from such food as much as possible. Too rich food and too much oil leads to a sort of party-gone-wrong in my stomach. So, when I find a good place that offers good variety too, I am usually ecstatic. And this was the case when I landed at Ovenfresh.

Where: Shivaji Park, on the road that leads straight from the station to Dadar Chowpatty.

What: An all-veg bakery-cum-restaurant, serving Continental and a bit of Middle Eastern cuisine. Pizzas, Pastas, Sizzles and some Hummus and Falafels.

Ambience: The first thing you see when you enter is the bakery and the crowd at the counter. The croissants, doughnuts, pastries, cakes, tarts and more are all lined up beautifully. There is a glass box behind the counter, which has a part of the kitchen, and you can actually see the chefs in action. I find that bit quite interesting and love to watch them whip up stuff.

The seating area is divided into two sections - one at the front and one at the back. Seating is comfortable, but both areas can get quite noisy and chaotic during busy hours. And when I say busy, I mean really busy! If you are in a group, you may have to wait for a while to get seating. The back area has some fun graffiti, but as a friend pointed out, they could do with some soft music to drown the noise made by people and make the place more pleasant. Overall, it is not fine dining, or even decorated restaurant-like. But it gives a cosy feel and is the kind of place that is best enjoyed with a large group of family or friends.

Positives - Food:
The baked goods in the front area look very inviting. Glazed, golden and generous with fillings. The pastries and cakes look good too, are moist and fresh. Whole cakes are freshly made on order on the same day. The doughnuts are soft and tasty, and the tarts are crumbly and good too.

As for the restaurant, the menu itself is very interesting and varied. They have a variety of pastas from Raviolis to Lasagne to Cannelloni. You won't find the regular Arabiatta here, but you will surely discover many more tastes and flavours in vegetarian continental cuisine. They have pastas in Orange Butter Sauce and stuffed with vegetables too. The Ravioli with sun-dried tomato is delicious with a good dollop of yummy tomato sauce and just the right flavour. The Enchiladas are known to be a favourite. I definitely wish to try every single of their pasta items at least once for sure as I couldn't help but read that section of the menu over and over again, smiling to myself. I just loved the combinations that they have put together.

If pasta is not your thing, you can opt for the Sizzlers or the 'Make your own Pizza'. You can choose your base and toppings and it is served hot, and in a large portion. The thin crust is the winner, with a crispy base and enough toppings. The sizzlers too look decent, but I would prefer the pastas and pizzas any day. The sizzlers too look colourful, are delicious and have good portions.

Besides Italian fare, they also offer sandwiches, burgers and some Middle Eastern dishes. I haven't tried those, but I saw them on the next table and they looked inviting enough. There is not much variety in starters or beverages though and they could do with adding a few more attractions there. But whatever is on offer, is nothing less than delicious. They also offer some parathas and very very limited Indian fare, though I doubt it would be asked for often.

The desserts of course are a cracker. No matter what you choose, it will be difficult to not like it.  I loved their Plum cake and cheesecakes, and the tarts and doughnuts are good too. They have nailed the balance of taste in their food and that works to their advantage.

Negative - Service:
The place is very noisy and seems very small. The service is really slow and lazy, and it can take ages for someone to listen to you. I was crying out for some friendly gesture from my server. And it can take really long for your order to arrive sometimes. The portions are good enough for one main course dish to fill one person entirely, so if you go with people, you get to try more stuff. Another negative it a lot of the items on the menu are available only from 11am to 3pm and 7.30 pm onwards.

Overall, the place is definitely worth a few visits. In fact, it has been known to convert many non-vegetarians I know and get them to appreciate and speak positively of vegetarian food for the first time.
So, this may not a place for a late lunch or early dinner. But it sure is a place to enjoy some brilliant food and believe that even vegetarian fare can be really really good.

गुलाबों सी पट्टी

Yeh kya hua hai mujhe?

Kaise samjhaaun, ab kahoon main kise?

Ek choti si harkat,

ek lamha bana kahaani,

par alfaazon se bandh na paaya woh,

ek itihaas jiski rachna mann mein hi.

Khwabon ke dhaagon,

Se buna liya aasman,

Jad liye rang birange taare usmein,

Aur odh ke lagne laga yeh apna sa.

Dohra ke mann me,

Woh dhundhla sa pal,

Khushiyon ki silvaton mein chip gaye,

Koi shak, koi gumaan, anchaahi hulchul.

Aankhon par bandhi,

Gulaabon si patti,

Kholne ko jee na kare kabhi bhi,

Isse yeh duniya dikhe kitni madhur si.

- © HAEM ROY

Kahaan chal pade

Galiyon ki mehek mein huye aise mashroof

Ke sadakon ka pata hum bhool gaye,

Fiza ki madhoshi mein kho hi gaye,

ke lamhon ka pata bhi bhool gaye.

  

Saundhi mitti ki khushboo bichi,

Aankhen moond hum kheeche chale,

Oas ki boondon se baatein karein,

Hariyali ki chadar par daude chale.

Patli si sadak bhi chhoot gayi,

Khushi khushi hum gum hi gaye,

Neeli chadar odh, hare bichawan par,

Thake tab do saans late gaye.

Raat ki surrati hawa suni,

Mausam jaise dharti se kare baatein,

Meethi yeh boli mein aise khoye,

Ghar wapas kaun jaana chaahe.

- © HAEM ROY

Khwaab chale jet plane par

(A song I wrote for children.)

Khwaab chale jet plane par,

1^st class savari.

Wings ho gaye hain saare puraane,

Yeh hai style kuch nayi.

Khatte se kuch oranges mein meethi chocolate candy.

Bageeche mein chippi mili dekho Santa ki red potli.

Khwaab chale jet plane par,

1^st class savari.

Birds ke saath khel rahe hain,

Hum toh chuppa chippi.

Butterflies ne banayi hai darvaaze pe rangoli.

Stars ko bhar diye hain piggybank mein meri.

Khwaab chale jet plane par,

1^st class savari.

Rainbow ke peeche chale hum,

Koi nahin hai hurry.

Treasure chest ko dhoondh nikaala pirates ne haar maani.

Fairies ke saath dance kar lein phir ho khatam ye story.

Khwaab chale jet plane par,

1^st class savari.

Pakad ke hum bhi udne lage,

Clouds se bani dori.


- © HAEM ROY

Decisions

An open road is rare,
a crossroad is always encountered,
there's the choice blindly made
or maybe pondering for hours,
and then you choose the way.

A decision is like mist,
Always hanging in the air,
fogs your eyes, blurs your vision,
but you can't move it aside, you can't feel it there.
Try and grasp at it,
it'll run away,
try making sense of it,
and it'll evade you.

Let your eyes adjust,
feel it on your cheek,
Imagine the road ahead in your head,
and jump forward.
Only then will the mist clear out,
And reveal the truth beyond.

- © HAEM ROY

Where the clouds are born

After being trapped in the limited confines of the city for very long, I was eager to break out. And since I am not so brilliant at planning trips, and more importantly co-ordinating with people, I readily joined in when some friends planned a trip to Malshej.

Before leaving, all I knew about Malshej was it was a hill station some 3-4 hours from Bombay. Rumours were that some parts of Raavan had been shot there. I was happy with that.

We went to Thane by rick and then took a train to Kalyan. Some of the people had heard very bad reviews of the food at Malshej. So at Kalyan station, we picked up a lot of fruits, some Maggi and instant soup packets and a few munchies. We then took a rickety ST bus to Malshej Ghats. Once we crossed the city borders, the can't-take-my-face-away-from-the-window journey began. Wind in my face, lush greenery outside and an assortment of mountains, hills and valleys, topped with lovely grey clouds.

Picture Diary: 

Along the long-winding road, the bus stopped suddenly, and we were told this is Malshej Ghat.









It seemed to be smack in the centre of a mountain, with nothing nearby at all. Just one small road leading away from the main road.

When we looked ahead, we saw that about half a kilometer down the small road was the hotel, sitting pretty on a plateau jutting out of the mountain. And it was surrounded by valleys, mountains and clouds. Niiice!

We walked towards the hotel, checked into the dorm we had booked, and went to the canteen for lunch. That's when we got our second surprise. The extremely cool weather at Malshej was balanced by the gut-ripping, throat-splitting, tongue-burning pungent food. One morsel and I was metaphorically jumping into some waterfall for relief. The fruits we had bought were now a boon.

We set off to try and discover some waterfalls. We walked about 2 kms one way, reached nothing useful and then walked back and then in the other direction for about a km. A waterfall on the road was spotted and not left alone.

In the evening we would sit on the porch outside the canteen, sipping on hot chai, feeling the mist on our faces and just peering through the clouds that were now actually just a hand away from us.

Picture Diary:

The MTDC hotel has a viewpoint, a concave section from where we could have a pan view of the valley. There were a few more surprises here.

The mountain peaks resembled smoke machines. Clouds were being spun quickly and they hushed away towards other parts of the world. It just seemed like the mountains kept churning out the fluffy grey masses out of nowhere.

Next we saw something called a Water Rise. In simple words, thats a waterfall turned upside down. Due to the wind and water pressure, the water instead of falling to the ground, defies gravity and rises upwards. At times, we even saw some waterfalls entirely and directly forming clouds instantly. It reminded me of the cotton candy machine spinning the sugary sweet.

We would find the clear times in the day and roam about. From the viewpoint we decided to do a blind trek. Walking around the mountains, making jokes about this being the new Mc Donalds outlet location, we reached a convex. If you could fly, it was not very far from the viewpoint. It looked onto the same scenery, but the difference was obvious. Everything was wide angle now. And no matter where I turned, my mouth was left open.

We sat there till the clouds came, and then ran back through a shortcut we discovered. Of course, we returned the next day.

Apparently Malshej is quite the hotspot of various insects, birds and other such living beings. Flamingos too appear during the monsoons but due to the global warming, the change in seasons, they were late this year. My friends kept spotting weird blue and green insects, while I tried my best to avoid anything that moved. Mountains - good. Water - good. Treks - brilliant. Snakes - RUN!

We avoided the spicy food and went to a hotel about 3 kms away - Sushant Resort. Bad place to stay, decent to eat. Really small cramped rooms, and hardly any view.

The best part about Malshej is that it does not have many places to go. Unlike present day Lonavla, it is quiet, secluded, and lovely too. Perfect for a little escapade. It is best in the monsoons, and it's better to travel to and fro before dark, as the roads can get quite scary. Most rentals even refuse to ply after dark. The ST bus too is not bad and is quite frequent from Kalyan Stn Depot.

If you wish to explore, there is the Shivneri Fort, about 30 kms from Malshej. Along the way, about 5 kms from the hotel is a dam too. But I say, the place itself is enough!

Before we knew it, we had to leave the dreamy place and were jolted back to town. Literally! But our minds stayed there for long.

IMPORTANT INFO


HOW TO GET THERE:
Nearest airport is Mumbai at 154-km. 
Nearest railway station is Kalyan. Buses or rentals from there available.
By road, Mumbai to Malshej Ghat, via Murbad is 154-km, Pune to Malshej Ghat via Alephata, is 164-km and from Alephata to Malshej Ghat it is 39-kms.


The best place to stay is the MTDC Resort. The dorms are strictly ok, and best if you are in a large group, as they have common loo facilities and not much else. The rooms available for two and four people are pretty nice and worth it, at a reasonable rate too.


Check-Out time: 12 noon


Things to carry: Some instant food like fruits, maggi etc, water for the way, warm clothing, rain wear if you are travelling in the monsoons (DO NOT carry an umbrella, it won't survive), shoes or floaters (flip-flops will make you slip) and a camera.


Best time to visit: June to September. Avoid road travel after dark.


Places to see:
Viewpoint at hotel
Dam 5 kms
Shivneri Fort 30 kms

Anjaana raasta

I just had this sudden urge of writing in Hindi. So I began:

Galiyon ki mehek mein huye aise mashroof

Ke sadakon ka pata hum bhool gaye,

Fiza ki madhoshi mein kho hi gaye,

ke lamhon ka pata bhi bhool gaye.

Saundhi mitti ki khushboo bichi,

Aankhen moond hum kheeche chale,

Oas ki boondon se baatein karein,

Hariyali ki chadar par daude chale.

Patli si sadak bhi chhut gayi,

Khushi khushi hum gum hi gaye,

Neeli chadar odh, hare bichawan par,

Thake tab do saans late gaye.

Raat ki surrati hawa suni,

Mausam jaise dharti se kare baatein,

Meethi yeh boli mein aise khoye,

Ghar wapas kaun jaana chaahe.

- © HAEM ROY

Perception

I fly by

past my dreams

oblivious to the shooting stars

as I stare at the little boy

who carried a basket of laughter on his back,

I look at his 9 coloured rainbow

as he rubs his crayons on the sky,

and paints the trees blue

I find my dreams rushing back

I find them flavoured with dew

Looking at the stars for the first time

I make a wish.

- © HAEM ROY

Ganapatipule

Set along the Konkan belt is a little village called Ganapatipule.

It's an hour's drive from Ratnagiri. When you set off from the dirty, messy streets of Ratnagiri, you will definitely not expect what you get when you are half way through.

But before you set off, make a trip to the Ratnagiri fort. It is best to make the trip early in the morning (that is when our train arrived), because then the heat gets so annoying, you won't be able to enjoy the sights. The fort is quite boring in itself, but it is the view that is striking. The blue clear sea down below, and the mountains in the distance- breathtaking. Sit in one of the 'windows' and lose yourself in the beauty of your surrounding.

Then begins the hour long journey to Ganapatipule. The sights begin when you are driving through the mountain roads. It is a wall of mud and rock on one side and hold your breath- almost virgin beaches with blue waters on the other. The greenery around, the peaceful atmosphere and looking down on the white sand and blue water, you won't believe you are just h

alf an hour away from a totally different civilization.

Reach Ganapatipule and you have every house turned into a lodge. Not that there are way too many houses at that. You have little restaurants serving thalis and little else, and some of the more 'grand' ones that serve 'Panjabi' cuisine too. The roads are hardly cemented except in a few places, and you will like walking below the trees on the mud path to the beach. This walk in itself is quite pleasing and the instant you start, you know you are in another dimension altogether. Away from your daily rigmarole.

The beach is a haven in itself. Clear blue waters and almost white sands, unpolluted by plastic and other human remnants. If not for the Coconut water shacks lining it, or a few bunches of pilgrims on one corner of the beach near the temple, it would resemble the virgin beaches that were spotted all along our journey.

Sitting in the water all day baking in the sun and frolicking among the waves, we just didn't realise how fast the time passed. There could have been so much more we could have done like cycling down the roads or hiking a little to nearby places, discovering new beaches - but all we

did was turn into water buffaloes. But that too was great fun!

Back to the place... There is also the Ganapati temple. Not quite small, it is better to visit the temple either early during the day or about an hour before sunset. It has a hillock which is holy and you can walk around it. That is a holy Hindu ritual called Parikrama. It't not the holy part that is good here, it is the scenery you encounter while walking around the hill. On one side is greenery and the other side holds a brilliant sea view. Even during the night, you may not be able to see the waters, but the pinch in the air and the chilly winds will make you feel wonderful.

After the walk, you can probably lounge on the sea, gazing that the endless number of stars. This view is impossible from a city. Whats more, you can even spot more than a few shooting stars. Watch the sky, peer into the darkness, feel the cool sand beneath you or breathe in the slightly salty, slightly chilly sea breeze. It will all feel therapeutic.

As for food, I recommend the local thalis at least once. But if you can't digest Maharashtrian food, or coconut in your preparations, there is a garden restaurant which serves almost everything. There is also the MTDC restaurant which I personally did not have the stomach for. Though the MTDC rooms are splendid if you have the budget. They command a great view of the beach.

All in all, Ganapatipule is one of those escapades that you go to when you have a nice long

weekend, and don't want to tire yourself out. Sit, chill, sunbathe (or burn like I did). But remember, if you want beer, you may have to get your own from somewhere. 'Cos this Ashtavinayak-temple-housing-village mostly doesn't have any.

Here's a picture log of my Ganapatipule trip, beginning from Ratnagiri station.

Kahaani

Sirhane padi thi ek palak

Ho gayi woh pawan ke hawale

Jhonke sang jhoomi, na hosh ka pata

Poochti khud se, kaun hoon main?

Ek choti si harkat,

ek lamha bana kahaani,

par alfaazon se bandh na paaya woh,

ek itihaas jiski rachna hai bas mann mein hi.

- © HAEM ROY

Blast from the past

I love the rains. On most occasions. But after being deported to Andheri east for work, my romanticised 'South Bombay' picture of the rains has been washed away. Literally and otherwise. My love for puddles has been replaced violently by a desperate search for dry ground. The immunity of the city has been so badly attacked, it seems that soon the island city will be an 'underground island city'.

And as I reminisce of how I usually felt very poetic during the rains, I am left thinking of how poetry would be in this scenario. Imagine if Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Byron and Shelley, with all their creative and poetic juices intact, were born in Bombay - the present.

An example of a Shakespearean sonnet 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day', as I see it now:

Shall I compare thee to a rainy day?
Thou art more dirty, making me asphyxiate:
Rough winds do shake the umbrellas we take,
And smoke and grease hath leave me no breath:
.... (and i skip to the last 2 lines)
No longer men can breathe or eyes can see,
No long lives left, only choking, suffering and misery.


Maybe, the cynical Eliot would be more fit in these times. His Waste Land is quite apt, with some minor 'tweaking', as we say here in Ad Land:

July is the cruellest month, breeding
Instects out of the dead land, mixing
Smoke with gutter, stirring
Dull roads with acid rain.

How to identify the Gujritius homo sapiens (GHS)

This certain species originated in the West Coast of India and belong to the Indo-Aryan race of homo sapiens. With the advent of globalisation and human export though, these creatures can now be found in every little remote country there is, including that little country stuck in between Egypt. There are a few sure shot ways of identifying this widely found species:

1. They are collective animals. They will always be found with almost their entire clan. If on a rare occasion you do chance upon a lone GHS, you will see him befriending (or scares) other clans and species aggressively.
2. Their vocal chords are differently developed to speak at louder tones. They are incapable of whispering, mumbling or muttering. Even at a distance of 5 feet, they will be found using their full vocal capabilities to beckon each other.
3. Not quite unlike cows, they have a primary need to keep chewing. Their food chambers are located outside their body through and they will always be found with some edible items on their person. While travelling, if you are out of food, you can rely on them to have some stored at all times.
4. They are characterised by a peculiar form of dance movement. They are sure to perform the same when you play music of any kind, as the clan gathers in a circle and dances around.
5. Their currency comprehension and value recognition capabilities are quite low. As a result, they have their personal judgement of a value of an item. You will always find them fighting to obtain the same at a lower price, and at most times, they exasperate the vendor enough to gain their way. Something obtained free of cost of course holds most value for them.
6. Although they travel in clans, they readily include anyone from the same species. In fact, they are always on the look out for fellow GHS, and will go all out to find one if there is.
7. Be wary of swallowing their food if you are allergic to sweetness. If you are not, you can identify a GHS in an instant by tasting simply a morsel. Their sugar consumption level far exceeds that of an average homo sapien.
8. A social event or a wedding is actually a meeting ground of potential matches, and you will find the elder of the species discussing prospective matches at all times. No young GHS can hope to be spared of this custom of inspection at any event.
9. If you spot meat, be sure not to find a GHS in that area. GHS are herbivores and avoid any meat consumption. But the younger of the species have begun adapting to meat eating patterns.
10. Lastly, even the most unlikely GHS will believe in exploitation of resources. They use the available resource to the optimum and then find a way to go even beyond it.

Statutory warning: If unprepared and unarmed, stay within escapable distance of a GHS.

Time-travel in a split second

Sleep in your mother’s arms once again. Experience the first rain. Discover the secret cave behind your house. Feel the snow between your fingers.

Invent things that haven’t yet been invented. Or fly in a plane without leaving the ground. Lie among tulips as you watch the birds. Live on the moon for that little while.

Fast forward or rewind. Freeze time and play with it.

Jump back to that moment. Or create one you imagined.

Forget the world. Find the world.

Bring life into one moment… a moment of escape.

Life @ 10 km/hr

Escape. To the little bylanes while zooming on a highway.
Choose the diversion, even when the road ahead is wide open. Take the sudden left turn down the mud-track. Steer away from long roads to travel at 10 km/hr. Discover your own road, and follow the scents and sounds.

Escape. To unknown places some afternoon.
Jump the fence, and reach strange yards. Climb a tree and look at the world down below. Fly a kite on the hill no one goes to. Lie down in the hay with your dog.

Escape. To find life in everything.
Compete with the wind to laugh out loud. Splash in the rain while on your way to work. Walk slowly and follow the snail. Smell the leaves and wave at the trees. Wink at the stars. Lie in the grass and stare at the sky.

Escape. To take a day off from time.
Forget your age and run in the park. Eat all you can. Leave a boat in the stream nearby. Find shapes in clouds of places far away. Watch the sky change colours through the day. Sing with the birds. Dance without reason.

Once in a while, walk slowly through life. Once in a while, escape the ordinary.

Don’t grow wings. Learn to fly without them.

Sometimes, when a room feels stuffy, all you need to do is open the window.

Just like in life.

All you need to do is break free. Just like a little kid, trying to break free from his inabilities, to try and reach his favourite toy. Like a tree swaying with the wind, trying to break free from the ground.

Break the permanency of routine. And be the vagrant ray of light that winds its way through darkness. Be the whiff of scent that leaves its flowers to mingle with the air around.

Be the little drop of water that trickles down unknown roads to find its puddle. Be the moonlight that finds a way into the most reticent corners of earth. When you are the tired traveller in the heat, be your own valley of flowers.

When looking for an escape, don’t look around. Create one within you. Leave your mind blank for a moment, and let all thoughts escape you. Don’t go looking for the answers to life. Make up the most interesting answers yourself.

Close your eyes and reach your heart. Don’t run away to look for a haven. Find your paradise right where you are.

Let a moment of change enter every second. Let a smile escape when moods are sombre. Don’t wait for wings to sprout so you can fly. Escape to your paradise anyway.

The vagrant wind

The whoosh of a wind as it swings past my ear
Whistling a tune, pleasant but unclear
A huge bag slung on its shoulder
The fuzzy fog trapped inside.

Hopping past the meadows
Ignoring the trees that beckon
Brushing the flowers with a touch
Scampering away merrily, grinning to everyone.

A tinge of mischief hidden beneath its folds
Spurts of giggles every now and then
Sprinting across as you look away
Sneaking away to the corner.

In the lands far and near,
As it explores what we so fear,
Rings a hollow laugh, a merry cheer
Left behind by the vagrant that swishes past.
- © HAEM ROY

OPPOSITES

(just a short story I wrote very very long ago)

Opposites

I am introverted, have always been so. I have never liked being in the limelight too much. The ‘In’ crowd is something I totally despise. I just can’t understand how they can live a life so dependent on others, on their friends; how they can share all their thoughts and feelings with someone else; and dress up and act and behave to impress others. Aren’t they satisfied with themselves? Why do they need others? I remain by myself most of the time; enjoy dressing up for my own pleasure. I am Sanskriti and I live with and for Sanskriti.

Oh yes, Sanskriti is one of the boring types I must say! I have known her since my childhood. Let me introduce myself first. I am Susie, and though I am 4 years younger than Sanskriti, I do know her very well. But she doesn’t know me. She was always scared to make friends, whereas I, quite unlike her, have always been a social person. I hold pride in my numerous friends and the ability to charm people. Sanskriti can’t charm even a dog even if she tries her best! I mean, look at her…oiled hair, no sense of dressing (where does she get these rags from?), cannot talk properly – forget English, always oblivious to everything…

Many laugh and make fun of my appearance. But then, what’s wrong with it? Oil is good for the hair; no one has hair as strong and healthy as mine. Those who have coloured their hair following the ‘trends’ will regret later on. I like my dresses, they are extremely comfortable and don’t suffocate you, or indulge in skin-show. And I speak very well when I am by myself, it’s just that I am not comfortable in company. I have been living a satisfied life, barring a few weird incidents. There are some periods in time when I am completely lost. It’s as if I lose consciousness and when I regain myself, I do not know what happened, don’t remember anything. But then, it just be due to weakness, as I often do not eat; I just don’t feel hungry.

Crazy she definitely is, and these ‘weakness effects’ are just signs of her madness. Living all by yourself will have some effect on the mind! No man is an island and all islands are in deep water. Forget her! I just can’t imagine her life. I live a life where I eat a lot, talk a lot and laugh a lot. Going to the movies, partying, enjoying all the pleasures that life has to offer. I have always been a free bird, with no one to bind me or stop me. I did what I liked, when I liked, since I was a kid. Who needs parents when you have so many friends?

My childhood was a learning process. My father was a strict disciplinarian and my Ma was a deeply religious lady. They imbibed in me their values and morals. I was taught to respect and obey all orders, work around the house, pray regularly, never speak or shout out loud and contain myself. I did try to follow all that, but I guess I am too clumsy. I wasn’t allowed to be friends with the guys, and they were too rough for me anyways. I had a couple of girlfriends, but none too close. I never had much to talk and was happy being with myself. That is the way to live – in all harmony and proper order. It was disastrous for me the day my father died. I was around 12 years old. I felt this deep sense of regret and loss. I do not know how he died, no one told me, and was kept away during his last rites. I was not allowed to even look at the body. Maybe they thought I would get scared. After Pa’s death, Ma’s behaviour towards me changed. She did not talk to me, or care for me. She just shunned me and always kept shouting at me whenever she spotted me. I think the death had affected her mentally. I cooked my own food when hungry, and continued with my activities by myself. She also died after a year or so, how I do not know or remember. After her death, I was sent to an orphanage as any of my relatives refused to accept me.

My Pop never gave me any freedom, always restricting and tracking every movement of mine. I wasn’t allowed to have many friends and boys were a strict no. But I loved hanging out with the boys; they were so much fun. We would play football, climb trees and do all sorts of cranky stuff. Of course Pop wasn’t supposed to know! Mom would ask me to do household chores, pray, etc. But I hated all that. I would mess up the chores purposely. These restrictions in fact egged me further and I tried my best to do just the opposite. They were bearing upon me too much. Finally, one day I couldn’t take it any longer and I killed Pop with my switchblade knife. Everyone was shocked and thought I had gone crazy. Mom now hated me and stayed away. Maybe she was scared! She would occasionally try to discipline me and order me around. But I showed her too that I was not to be pushed around. I killed her too…

I considered the orphanage my home and started living there normally. I got used to the lifestyle and didn’t need much for myself. I got into college and concentrated only on my studies. But, however hard I studied, I never managed to get satisfying marks. College was when these weakness-blackouts increased, sometimes even during exams. But I managed.

Yes, it was the orphanage where I knew Sanskriti properly. I was sent there after I killed Mom as all were now scared of me. Maybe they thought I was a serial killer! Ha ha! She would follow all orders, stay within her room and remain to herself. Most boring I believe! I, on the other hand, got friendly with almost everyone, including the watchman and peon. They would help me when I wanted to sneak out for a party or something. Studies were never my interest. In fact, I hardly studied. During exams I somehow managed to scrape through with a bit of divine and ‘other’ help.

These blackout phases are seriously scaring me now. I recently visited the doctor finally and he too was confused. He did not know what ailed me and thought maybe I should see a psychiatrist or something. I just hope it’s no serious illness. Two days ago I found some things in my cupboard, which did not belong to me. There were some clothes, the modern ‘trendy’ types and make-up. I found some cigarette packets and a switchblade knife and was shocked. There was also a diary with Susie written on the front cover. I did not know how all that came there. Maybe I had made a new friend during these unconscious ‘blackout’ phases that I do not remember. That’s when it started to worry me.

Well, she had to find out one day, and so she will. She found my stuff in her cupboard and wondered whose it was. Of course she doesn’t know me yet, so she is confused. But once she does, she will be shocked, terrified maybe. Earlier I would hide my things at places she never looked at, but at the orphanage there was no option. And it was here that I felt more free and expressed myself more often. That’s how she became suspicious and went to that stupid doctor. But of course he couldn’t find out anything. I can hide myself so well that I bet even the psychiatrist will be baffled. Though I do intend to get introduced to Sanskriti soon. I am eager to see her reaction, because helpless as she is, she won’t be able to harm me of course. I am much stronger. But she has to know me, her opposite, her other half, her other personality ….

Haem Roy

I can manage

When the tide turns on me

When every step beholds a rock

I'll be fine

Cos I can manage.

When the world seems lost

And I grapple with directions

I'll be fine

Cos I can manage.

As you worry about your own

Go on with your life

Don't bother about me

Cos I can manage.

When I need someone

I'll hold my own hand

Don't look back at me

Cos I can manage.

But don't worry for when you are low

Or just need a push to go

It's you who I'll look at first

Cos my own I can manage.

- © HAEM ROY

Dec 04, 2008.

The lonely bungalow feel

The sweet smell of grass envelops
dew hanging mid-air
mist tying you up all around
a gush of darkness approaches the ground

stars float about, having their siesta
the moon has just stopped bothering
the cottage before you stands in a permanent shadow
the trees covering its promiscuity

and as the crickets begin their speech
the tiny world silently listens
tip-toe, whisper or scream
No other sound will get ears

a wave of eeriness and you walk faster
wanting to get away, but being pulled back
as you crunch the gravel along the road
it's always a wide stretch - behind you or ahead

all your senses alert almost
your Mind wafting away
hushed whispers are all your mouth can manage
seems like someone's carried your voice away

your lonely cottage is your Den
the shadows around it ignored
a tiny lamp your constant companion
the trees sharing the secrets hidden from you
with restless peace your heart keeps beating
as you sleep enveloped by the Lonely Bungalow Feeling...
- © HAEM ROY 
1.10.08

I want to run away

I want to backpack...

Just pick a haversack, put in a few things, carry some money, a map and set out. Maybe decide the 1st location, only the 1st. And then go by the wind, or impulse. Explore the uninhabited, dine with the locals, hitchhike down roads, bathe in waterfalls and write by the stream. Breathe in the fresh air, read a story that the clouds draw, listen to the music that the little village boy with the flute composes... and sleep in a sleeping bag under the stars.

But... (there is always a fricking but), responsibilities, home... family to care for!

Ah well.. some day for sure. I know. And those wishing to join me are most welcome.

Ode to the brave train traveller

This was originally written for the Open Humour Blog:

To the brave train traveller

Thou brave child of Alexander the great
Thou who fights long battles with fate
O’ lucky bearer of the choicest insults
Enlightened thou be, by the foul-mouthed cult.

Ye rise early, crosst many roads
Before thy might the villains bowed
Ascending a wagon full of faces so vain
Thousands to battle, hundreds will be slain.

An umbrella beest thy sword,
With closed eyes as thou climbs aboard
Elbows be thy armour and shield
Thy feet danceth when the hands are sealed.

Protecting the land where thee sets foot
Forever it seems, thou will stay put,
Jostling and pushing hath no effect
Thy strong body suffers no defect.

None dareth rise up against thy might
For if they do, you are all set to fight
The teaching of years, the words in thy mouth
Flying like bullets, at those vagrants uncouth.

None can attempt a feat like thee
Hanging by a finger, avoiding that tree
Standing up to that army twice a day
It ain’t that easy, to battle everyday.

A salute to the master kicker,
The uncrowned king of trains
The soldier that bravely battles fate
And steps out alive, injured but not slain.

- © HAEM ROY

For those interested, the above verse was an attempt to parody the heroic couplet style of writing that was prominent during the Renaissance age. It is characterised by exaggeration and grandeur, making the subject seem almost divine. Another characteristic is the form which is rhymed couplets in iambic metre, though this one is not in iambic metre. (do you even know how tough it is to calculate it, let alone write in it!)

*Definitions*:
The heroic couplet, lines in iambic pentameter rhymed in pairs(aa, bb, cc), appeared early in English — it was Chaucer's favorite meter — and came into vogue in poetic drama in the seventeenth century, but in the eighteenth century, in the hands of masters like Dryden, Pope, and Johnson, it became for many years the dominant English verse form. Its name derives from its use in seventeenth-century "heroic" (epic) drama and poetry.

Alexander Pope's Rape of the Lock is an excellent example of a parody of heroic couplet, and very very funny too.

SOMETHING'S MISSING

a vOid - hOllOwness
Breeze drilling through you
It’s not just your ReflEction in that puddle
that’s restless, It’s a ReflEction of you.

An incomplete WhOLe you feel like
A leaking jar –
filled to the brim
You don’t know where that bastard piercing is
that’s draining the you out of yOu.

- © HAEM ROY 
[For the curious, the capitals and placement of lines is on purpose.]

Kuch Lamhe

Some nazms that I penned some time ago

KUCH LAMHE:

1) Taaron ki shaant timtimaahat
Aur andhere sannate ke beech
Uthti awaaz jo failaye madhoshi
Andhadhun samaa mein hai ye roshni ki nazuk aahat

2) Suryoday gagan ki rangeen chadar odhe
Raat ki thand mein garmahat ka aagman
Oas ab kho rahe apna astitva
Ruke nahin jeevan ka chalan, bas ab dikhai pade

3) Ped ke patton mein dhup ki luka-chippi
Kabhi kabhi vayu maharaj ki dakhal andazi
Thake musafir aur ped ka saath to suna sunaya hai
Par dhup aur vayu hi hain is rahi ke humrahi

4) Varsha mein paani ki boondein khelti ajab raas
Kabhi tez ya madhdham koi na keh pata
Josh mein aa gayee to sab Ram-bharose
Aas-paas na dekhti kuch… anjaam sarvanash

5) Phool jab pathjad ke hruday se khilte
Toh soonepan ko chod dete soona
Par gar hota na pathjad bahaar se pehle
Toh kya phool itni muskuraahat faila pate?

6) Saanjh ki lapet mein phir sab aane lage
Kuch jeev shuru, kuch thame, par jeevan toh abhi bhi chale
Bheeni mitti ki mahek ghulti raatrani ki sugandh se
Sab kuch abhi bhi sada-sa manmohit lage

7) Subah uthte hi palkon ke saamne chaye dhundhlapan
Sapnon ki duniya ke nishaan abhi bhi
Nidra aur jaagran ke beech ki ajab sthiti
Jab hosh dagmagaata, shantata ke dariya mein behekta man

8) Palkein jhapakte hi, oas ki boonden khaari,
Khud mein koi raaz samaaye,
Girte aur ho jaate hain ye toh nadaarad
Par de jaate hain ahsaas halke, jab ho jaati hain yaadein bhaari

9) Madhraatra… Kehte hain ki hai sannaata
Toh phir kya hai vo jantuon ki nishani
Woh tarraana, madhur awaazein
Aisa anokha shor kyon koi na sun paata?

10) Ant kabhi ho sakta hai samaapt?
Kya shuruaat bhi nahin anth ka aagman?
Chakravyuh mein ghoom, vipda mein phase

Gar yahi sochne baithe, toh kya manzil hogi praapt?

- © HAEM ROY 

Comfort has to be sought

Comfort is naturally a very relative term by all means. Every person keeps aiming for his/her comfort zone at every point in life. The way one chases comfort keeps reminding me of how men chase women, playing all tricks, trying to woo her in all possible ways, trying to figure out what makes her click and leaving no stone unturned. Comfort is no less than the stubbornest of women, probably even worse, as it keeps eluding you, and just when you think you are settled in its lap serenely, disturbed not even by dreams, a humungous pin decides to lodge itself in your backside.

The problem more often is deciphering what exactly YOUR comfort zone is. It is misjudged and one is left scurrying about in pursuit of something which eventually is futile. Only on reaching do we realise that we probably seek something else, and the mad run begins again.

Thats the cycle of life. Comfort keeps eluding, wrong judgement manifests itself at every turn, and mirages keep blinding long sight.

But to look at it from a better perspective, even though the destination may not be a permanent comfort zone, it definitely is not worthless. One can treat it more like a pitstop, a refuelling junction. The bliss of reaching the mountain peak may not be there, but there is a definite respite from the endless turbulences of the journey, and the motion sickness. A nap for an hour, some food, a calming of the senses before you are back to the grind.

I found a similar 'comfort-post' recently. Something cliched yet unfailing - books. Sometimes the processes of our own mind are so complex and confusing, that you fail to keep pace with it. You don't understand what is happening and it is almost the verge of a breakdown. Everything around you seems like its spinning, and that its bent on knocking you down for sheer sadistic pleasure. Probably you can do something to stop this, but that would be possible if you grasp what is happening!

Those are time when you try and seek the comfort zone. You desperately need it. The chase obviously beings you to the 'nap and food break'. And i ended up with a book, that helped me drown the world around me. I shut myself to the rivers and island world of 'The Hungry Tide', an all-time favourite of mine, and revelled in the fictional characters and emotions the book offered me. The pace and gripping narrative of the book played their part in keeping me glued, even at a re-reading. And in time, the storm within me had settled, I don't know how, as I took things in their stride. The smile was back, and I was not being knocked down. (Even if I was, I probably turned into a huge, green giant who could not be knocked down!) As for the tiny pins that were being flung at me constantly, I learnt to deflect them in a way that they barely scratched me.

But I still seek my mountain peak
Momentary posts may refuel me
But my eyes are set on a destination I cant yet see
Till then I try to be happy with breeze that whistles by.

- © Haem Roy