Feb 19, 2007

A Farewell to an experience

We had the TY farewell yesterday in college. waaaaaaaaaah! we're leaving college. we'll now be the 'old, mature EX-Xavierites!' Damn! Strangely i am not sad though. I know i'll miss college and being here and hanging out in the woods or just sitting doing nothing, and the other millions of things that are too much to be listed. The college has made me what i am today, its experiences have moulded me, and there have been all kinds of experiences that are associated with these stone walls in the past 5 years. But I dont want another year here is also another fact i know. I have reached saturation point. No i wanna go out into the world, out of these stone walls and experience more. I will feel nice to just miss the place and be nostalgic.

Yesterday, it was something watching everyone all dressed to kill, in formal dresses, suits and 'whoa' outfits as i call them. Man, i felt like a misfit! That was true Xaviers in its spirits. But the spirits were not that high.

One of the reasons... a batchmate expired a couple of days ago in a car accident at Walkeshwar. Life bid him a tragic goodbye at such a young age. And to think, he was one of us aspiring about the future, scared about the exams and anxious about everything. Such incidents give me the chills. Remind me about the unsurity of life, the suddenness of it, its ability to spring surprises. Nothing can be predicted. A lively, smiling soul can turn into nothing the next instant, and it makes my heartbeat stop! Nomo (that was his name) was in my class last year and took another subject in the final year. Quiet, sweet and always smiling... and to think that smile is now gone. Chills again. And this is the second incident of a classmate passing away, the last being in my 12th when a girl was killed in a terrible train accident. Such things make you reflect on life, make me existentialist.

The farewell did happen though and everyone turned up in masks as the theme was masquerade. I got my play mask frm Ithaka and that even won me the best mask prize, he he! Yaay for my play again! I didnt join my friends for dinner cos i wasnt in the mood. And a shouting from home for having lost something had furthered my bad mood. I was present, but only physically. I left in the end aftr complimenting and thanking the student's council for organising the farewell, while most of the 'students' left for Pollyesters for the post-farewell party that was being organised.

It was a farewell, a goodbye to one world of experiences to allow another world to open up!

Feb 3, 2007

Gut feelings!

It is quite strange but when something is happening and your mind and everything else is working in the right way, there is something else that finds a small voice. The gut feeling interrupts sometimes when something is happening, or you are just acrrying on with what is usual or maybe 'natural', like going with the flow.
And it is most shocking to hear this small voice at these times because, firstly it isnt expected and secondly, it is almost always in opposition to the rest of you!
It is quite wierd, because just when u feel everything is going right, there it is to stun you for a second. And you dont know what to do. You should just continue with whatever's happening and ignore it cos everything seems so very right, or fret over the voice and suspect and dont know what else!! Just dont know!! Damn the gut feelings!!! Such a nuisance... how to handle them, what to do with them???!!!