Jan 25, 2007

Out of Hibernation...

It does seem like I was in hibernation what with no entries for so long. I just feel like entering anything. Sometimes there is so much happening, not physically but within your head that you just dont know what to put down. I just wanted to keep it within my head for some time, waiting for it to register, settle itself, sort itself out.

Lots has happened in this time though...

Couple of weeks ago i fought with some people in the train. I was in the 2nd class ladies compartment accompanying a friend and we were returning home. Adjoining the compartment was a tiny cubicle sort of general compartment with the 'window' between both compartments where people from both sides can see each other. The window is one of those 'leching devices' that the train offers and the men can have a field day throughout their journey peeping into the adjoining compartment. Getting back to the point, that compartment had some 'bhajan-singers' and no sooner did the train start, than they started with their singing and playing. What was most annoying was the loud noise that the symble-like instruments made. It made my head throb and i noticed i wasnt the only one getting disturbed. But everyone chose to bear it quietly. After a while i couldnt take it and despite protests from my friend i got up and approached those people requesting them to please stop their singing as it was greatly disturbing everyone. They had no right to disturb other people for their pleasure. I told them I am not against your devotion or any religious practices, but 'Bhakti' is not singing loudly and troubling others but it is taking the name of God and also respecting other people's space. I asked them to respect our space and please stop. They said they would after one song.
I waited.
And they continued.
This made me even more furious and I got up and started shouting at them. The leader came to the 'window' from where i was talking to them and asked me if it was the 1st time i was travelling in the compartment, and then asked me to go sit down!!! And what was worse was the attitude of the other ladies in the compartment. They chose to put cotton in their ears, and when i voiced out my opinion, told me that it was no use and if i wanted to complain i should go to the police. I had a good mind to tell them what i thought about their complacence, but controlled myself.
And to add to my furiosity was another similar incident that had happened a few months ago when i was travelling in the general 1st class with a few friends. The adjoining 2nd class had some people singing similarly and I did want to get up and ask them to stop as i wasnt feeling well then and the noise was making me feel dizzy and nauseous. But my friend accompanying me stopped me saying that these people have a lot of influence and contacts with the wrong people and if you speak up, it may have bad consequences. That did not deter me and i still wanted to get up and tell them, but i was held down by him. So, i called up the Churchgate Station ARO's office from my cell phone informing the policeman on the other side about the din and disturbance. The reply shocked me even more as he said he couldnt do anything as the train was moving and i would have to go to the Churghgate station office and file a complaint with the train timings, etc and then they would try and take some action if they could. I told them wat about the fact that i am getting disturbed now? And i got no reply from the other end. i just gave a rude thank you and cut the call.

These two incidents have set me thinking.

What can we do if we face any disturbance like this? Is this a sort of religious fanaticism and how can it be curbed? Isnt religion more about caring for each other and respecting other people, then where did this sort of selfishness and mindless 'devotion' come about? Why has the indifference and complacence developed in the minds of people and the general attitude is we cant do anything about it, so we might as well bear it? No one tries. And if anyone does try, he/she is asked to keep quiet and reminded about the fruitlessness of the effort. Isnt a public place for everyone, then how come these people can continue doing what they want without regard for others who have also paid and who have an equal right to that space? The government goes on bothering about material things and making the city into 'Shanghai' but the first step required is developing an attitude in people that teaches them to respect. Respect others, respect space, respect places and respect your city. This lack of respect is the reason for pan stains on "Do not spit here" signs or rude remark coming your way when you try to help someone...
RESPECT... that is what is needed, and minds that are ACTIVE...minds that are more ready to voice their opinions and can realise the result of radical stances rather than just tolerating!


Jan 5, 2007



Picking up a steel spoon,
In it, I can SEE me;
Scrubbing the floor tiles,
Once they’re clean, I can SEE me.
Looking out the window,
The civilization outside roars,
Turning back in, In the window glass,
I can SEE me.
Walking down the road,
Shops have glass doors – shut,
But walking in them with me,
I can SEE me.
The large mirror at the dressing table,
Shows me a world so similar,
In it too, mimicking my actions,
I can SEE me.

Away from these distorted worlds
When I try to find me,
I can feel, I can sense, But I can’t SEE me.


Jan 4, 2007


I decided to try aome random know-yourself tests that I found while surfing online. Hmmm... so these people can tell me more about myself than I know... interesting!!! I found the results and the exercise itself quite hilarious...

MY PRICE TAG: (any takers? he he)

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

Your Birthdate: April 8

You love being in love... so much so that it's very hard for you to be single.
Unfortunately, it's difficult for you to stay in love over time. Too many people intrigue you!
Only your true love will be able to keep you interested over time.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 3

You are most compatible with people born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th of the month.

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.

You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.

By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.

And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

You Are 45% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 80%

You have a good chance of being a multimillionaire. Better than most people.
You simply have a natural knack for money and the personality for success.

Jan 3, 2007

VACATIONS OVER...(sob, sob)


A yellow bird
from tree to tree.
The grass spying on it.
The wind distracting everyone
as its laugh still echoes after it runs away.
The corn stalks gossiping about
the crazy squirrel scurrying.
The bees and butterflies
trying to chase the wind;
but the smiling flowers woo them back.
The sun taking a nap high above
softly aware of all the activity.

The purring turns into a roar
as the motorbike cuts through the little world
And moves ahead.


Sigh! The vacations are gone. They have disappeared without a trace and we have been dragged back to routine and more. The laziness still hasn't subsided and I have to keep telling myself how bad the situation is and how much i need to do. Maybe that'll "bring some tension into my head" like my best friend says. I desperately need that being the kinds who works best under pressure.

Today, I was feeling quite light. The cold, yet pleasant weather with the end-of-Christmas feel brought a certain bounce in the air which affected me. I was lazy yes, but yet bouncy and very spirited too. I felt like being a prankster, jumping around college, talking away endlessly and just being, just existing. It felt nice, burdenless for once.

Until we got the warning and exam instructions from teachers of course. But well, the spirit finally overpowered the tension for the day at least as I went around shouting greetings and smiling as widely as I could.

For the heavy part, we also had a nice discussion on the evil in man and its inherentness. Svagery, crime, etc and the state of the world today and the attitude and emotions of the people in this age and time. This was a discussion that emerged from a combination of my earlier entry which was still plaguing my thoughts and a study of Golding's The Lord Of The Flies in class. The book talks about the very same thing and is quite a shocker in many ways. Here, children are given the quialities that are generally attributed to adults and it adds to the surprise and shock. All value systems are questioned. For me, that led to a questioning of present mentality and future possibilities. Sometimes I get surprised at the fact that I get so deep into something and get so reflective. In other words, I do surprise myself at such times thanks to my own thoughts and the tangents and digressions and theories they adopt.

Back to the light part - I was enjoying the feel and mood and was cuddling up in my oversize sweatshirt, which I quite liked. And I left college relatively early today too, which is something rare. The best part - the survey guy, Krishna, in college. I filled a questionairre for him and earned 100 bucks!!! Yaaaaaay!

(That I spent 280 bucks in buying Rebecca and Look Back in Anger is a separate fact and I WILL NOT allow that to interfere with my elation on getting some money at least!!)

Jan 1, 2007


What a start to the NEW YEAR! While the whole world rings in the New Year with a lot of celebration, there are a few children who will never see it. It is quite appalling to hear that someone who can be categorised as human could so brutally abuse and kill children.

The Noida killings are quite a shocker for the whole country! At this moment at the onset of the New Year when everyone wishes for good luck and better times ahead, comes the news that the times are getting worse.
Watching the 'censored' visuals on television I wondered, is this like a warning? While we continue to live devoid of all sensitiveness and working in a perfectly mechanic way according to routine, the world is getting disintegrated. With all care and concern disappearing, the meaning of 'human' is just becoming a biological definition.

Sitting at home it is easy to criticise what the government or the BMC or George Bush are doing, and everyone is used to the easy way out now. Who will bother to raise a voice and publicly raise the issue? A small disapproval in front of the idiot box while mumbling a few abuses at the wrong-doer will do! This 'Chalta Hai' that once made Mumbaikars famous will prove to be the death knell. It is the loophole that allows the biggest of problems to stay and stagnate because it is being tolerated and hence it grows. That the problem will explode one day and kill everyone is something that is chosen to be ignored.
The train blasts shook everyone. But life was normal soon enough and that was appreciated as the 'spirit of the city'. Spirit bullshit! It was nothing but a lack of choice. Given an option everyone would stay at home, but then who would feed the family?The bureaucrats try to encourage this attitude so that their faults and incompetencies are well-hidden and ignored. And how well do they do it i must say!Let me NOT get into politics... or my talks will never stop!

Coming back to the word human... 'humanity' now is just a species. Who cares for fellow human beings. Saving your own tail is first priority. Economic progress is certainly there, but that has brought with it many other things. The idea of self-realisation and identity is a great one... and i am a believer in it too. I do believe in finding one's own path in life and trying hard to make one's mark. But that does not mean that the lives of others have to be staked. I had a discussion about Individuality and Unity earlier and the same applies here. Humanity means being one spirit, a whole and feeling for other people, which no longer exists.

If it did, such heinous crimes would not occur. Only one has been revealed through the Noida killings. No one knows how many more lives are being staked for personal gains in other parts of the country or world. No one knows the extent to which this rust has spread and is weakening the iron pillars of humanity cos it is deep inside where not many can see. Only when the building will collapse will the inner core be exposed. Unless someone who knows the insides dares to come into the open and reveal. Unless the iron conquers the other forces and decides to fight back actively. Unless the iron is used, it will rust in the open.

I have a scary feeling inside me whenever i hear of any crime. I have a scarier feeling when i hear of political scams and corruption. I wonder, what if everyone in power becomes such? Will the world continue to exist? Won't extinction occur then? Everyone will just kill everyone else and well, the population problem will be solved, won't it?

I noticed here, E is a very important letter. Unless it is added to human and the species is made HUMANE, it will become the E of EXTINCTION!

Its like this hypothetical situation, What if only carnivores lived in this world?

Anyways, considering vegetarians are still alive along with the cows and goats, i can say...

May you not get eaten up by anyone!