Apr 21, 2007

Life's pleasantries

LIFE... it makes you wait and wait and wait at times...
sometimes to the point of anger, sometimes to the point of frustration and sometimes even to the point of dejection and despression. It is strange and very very cliched, but after all that waiting, it finally does come. The wait is long but never endless. All that is needed is a mind to stick through and survive the wait, which, i may add, is the most difficult thing ever. Your only enemy is your own self, your own instinct, and that is also your only strength...

And when it comes...
it bloomes, it flourishes and spreads the scent within you, within your soul and every part of you. It enraptures you and makes you like never before, makes you special, makes you THE ONE! You can just see yourself floating over everything then, and popping into the clouds time and again, ignoring the rain, ignoring the thunder because life is with you now and you have the power to face that.

Life has come for me...
or so i think. I do not know if it is temporary, i do not know how good it is. But it does seem like my journey through the clouds, it does seem like my long-awaited perfume for the soul... it is slowly brightening up my insides, spreading the smiles within me...

Like someone has said, and now i agree... It is the roller-coaster ride... where you do not know about the next turn, twist or loop, but you know its thrilling, its fun, its exciting, and you very much like it. The butterflies, tingling in the stomach, the screams, the shouts, the smiles and the fear and anxiety included. Its all there... I can feel it.

And i do hope it lasts... and lasts well... :)

Apr 7, 2007

Is there a cure for sick minds?

It is quite strange to find how, with the garb of modernity, orthodoxy still manages to spread it claws all around and catch hold of the poor free souls who do not wish to interfere with it and do not wish it to interfere. It is surprising to find that in this new millenium, the 'new age', the age of the 'modern', call it whatever you may (u know wat i mean), there are still people who hold 5th century BC values (ok that maybe an exaggeration, but again u know wat i mean!) There are sick mentalities and there are sick mentalities, and I have seen them now!

For me, the idea of family has always been that of an institution that is built more on mutual respect, love and belonging rather than blood ties. it is a bunch of relationships tied together with immense trust. And now even that definition has been challenged. The challenge has put before me a family that lives not on trust but on power games. It is a notion of right and wrong and of having the upper hand, of believing that you are at the top and getting everyone to submit to ur dictatorship. Its hypocrisy at its worst, with the facade of benevolence, and the actual deed being one of the destruction of an individual identity.

It is quite appalling in this age to find parents who suppress their children into the fields they want, control their children as if they were puppets, dont bliv in the concept of privacy for children, and dont have a basic trus and faith in your children. i am just thankful and happy that i have a mother, who, if i say i did not do something, will believe me more than anyone else! Who has the faith that her daughter will be sensible and knows the right from wrong and is strong enough to decide her life... Yes, there will be some restrictions, but she cares, and even she has some basic beliefs that cant ever change, and that concession has to be given!

I say, an individual is an individual, and becomes one as soon as he/she is separated from the mother's body... the identity is different now, and the individual has the basic right to mould that identity, to create a personality. There will be influences, there will be advisors and guides, there will be those who will obstruct you going the wrong way through force, and there will be all kinds of people... but they are all what we can say the 'other', with their own minds and lives. And they have a limited part to play in the individual's life. Ultimately it should be the individual who should be given the freedom to choose, the right to decide... the power to create your own life and CONSTRUCT YOUR OWN REALITY! IT IS YOUR WORLD AFTER ALL, LIKE I SAY!

Apr 4, 2007


Just penned this in between studying... a sorta break between struggling with Ideology and Structuralism or the likes...


I sit upon the very same wall.
Staring, gazing
Looking at the nothingness around it.
Everyday it’s the same routine.
I know I have to climb it daily
I know I have to sit and stare
But still that knowledge is not enough
‘Cos there is the fear of falling
Or hurt that I may have to bear.
What if I do not climb the wall some day?
What if I decide to penetrate the nothingness?
It will be a new experience
An entry to the unknown, a new door,
Made by my decision to stray.
The new way may be a dead end
Or a myth with monsters
But it’s different, I dare say,
Better than the wall
And its endlessness,
Better than the fear of falling.
The door opened may have just rocks.
But, a door has been opened
Leading me out of the nothingness…
Is now another day…
Taking me with my blindfolds
Allowing me to feel it
3rd April, 2007

Apr 3, 2007

Life's unexpected turns...

You are going smoothly... certain doubts in mind troubling you...
But, in time, the doubts clear and then you see the bright sky as you look forward to the approaching good weather that you know is coming...
And suddenly... bump! there is a crash as something jolts you out of this happiness. There is thunder, there is a drak cloud, trying to keep you from moving ahead, trying to get you to stop, and not expect any more happy times!
But, the challenge is to face it and wait for it to clear...

There is another catch though (as always with life)...
Even when you know the fair weather is right ahead for sure, and there is sure confirmation too... you tell urself not to assume. you tell urself that it is wrong to build castles in the air... rather - dont assume and wait for an actual one to materialize. Dont hope so much. if it crashes, it will be shattering!

And between this hope and self-proctection, u are caught... waiting for THAT fair weather... that blissful moment!