That 'what if'

It gnaws it claws it hides in crevices
It rustles up from beneath
It shadows from behind
It hovers above at all times
It seeps through like the sun

That thing that's been bothering you
That one hanging thought
That question hunting for its answer
That hope trying to find straws
That regret inching up through your veins

It sticks to your senses
It underlines all your thoughts
Shake it off, scratch it off, pull it away
It stays in the crumbs that don't go away
It lives in the darkness that will oft surface

That dream that finds nightmares as roommates
The wish that didn't find its genie
That one word spoken hanging in mid air
That turn of events unexpected and strange
That 'what if' which never leaves.

- Haem Roy,
29 March 2015.

An unknown world

A rainbow streak pierces through the grey

Monotones finding shades and hues

Windchimes breaking the clock’s steady rhythms

It is a world unbeknownst

It is a world not beckoned

A world untouched by the blacks and blues

Eyes squint as they adjust

Hands twitch as the wind brushes past

Feet unaware of the freedom found

A nostalgic sigh for the darkness once dear

A habit entwined, a habit weaned

A habit dissolved in a rainbow cloud.

- Haem Roy

October 2014. 

The everyday lover's 'rhetoric'

Another prompt by a colleague, and another attempt at writing something. The word this time was 'rhetoric'. Vague, ambiguous and very intangible, I initially struggled with how I could interpret it. And then I wondered - rhetoric is used so often in love, in courtship, in trying to impress and in trying to woo. Every lover has rhetoric and I wrote about this everyday lover's rhetoric.

The everyday lover’s rhetoric

The sun gets belittled with just a glance,

The moon finds nowhere to hide in shame,

The flowers seem devoid of their colour.

As the lover hand picks his praises,

And the lady finds her rose-tinted pedestal,

As nature transfers its glory to the whispers they exchange.

Adoration, persuasion, flattery, worship,

Blindfolds, apprehensions, hopes, dreams,

Wishes like whiffs of perfume.

Days of haze, eyes glazed with illusions,

Fantasies and fairytales seeping through drop by drop,

Promises pressed into clay by jittery hands.

The words have done their part

The verses have played the allurer

And they flutter forth, heart to heart, hope to hope.

- Haem Roy

20th Sep 2014.

Midnight

A little background: A colleague and I decided we needed a bit of creative exercise to get through the rest of the day. Around 3 in the afternoon, we came up with one word - midnight - and both of us had half an hour to come up with a verse around it.

Below is what I wrote.

Midnight

Short strokes painted across untiring eyes,

Engulfing a calm,

A scenery that knows no shades.

Black is black and all is dark.

She walks down the ascending road,

Piercing the silence with sharp heels,

Smoke filled in her mind,

Her breath clear as the night.

Crinkled memories of the path she walks,

Muffled voices behind curtains closed hours ago,

Stories swept under the carpets of quiet,

Don’t ask, don’t tell, just stack the mind.

Both hands entwine, the wind chimes,

The streets are hers now.

Seducing the suns away from their skies,

They nicknamed her ‘Midnight’.

- © Haem Roy

May 2014.

The poetry of abandon

Her breath moved in a lilting rhythm,

Her skin jumped up to reach out to his touch,

Goosebumps that spread to her beating heart.

He didn't need to see her to revere. 

She didn't need to touch him to feel.

His fingers like satin, wrapped around her,

The world was bolted out,

The covers were out in the open.

His eyes covered her in silky glory,

She was the queen of the world they lived in.

They were discoverers - every moment a quest,

They found the hidden art in seduction,

Never more than an inch away from breathlessness.

Her curves were now his altar,

His warm breath was her drug.

Levitating above the world they lived in,

Creating pure poetry with their bodies,

Sculpting pleasure into their memories.

Wild abandon seeped in their senses,

Attachments found no space to survive.

- © Haem Roy

8th March, 2014.

Wedding blurs part 2: Erasing the blurs

This is my attempt at a sequel for a story I had earlier written. You can find the original story (Wedding Blurs) here.

The story continues:

The music was loud. That's a good thing. She wouldn't have to indulge in small talk. It's not like she didn't like talking. Oh no! She loved it. But now was not the time. This was not the place. And these were not the people.

She was here for a reason. And she was determined to return only once her purpose was achieved.

She walked up to the bar, carefully evading the spots with bright light. She was wearing a simple, elegant navy blue dress, short enough to show off her shapely legs, but long enough to differentiate her from the teenage girls who had just found freedom from their uniforms and were leaving no stones unturned to enjoy it. She smirked a little. She'd been there, and she knew that feeling. But that was another time. Seemed almost like another life to her.

He was with her then.

They had just met, and were still a little formal with each other, but his infectious company was not something anyone could ignore. She would glance at him from the corner of her eyes, and smirk shyly at his quips to the other friends. He would chat up the server like he was a regular, and he even managed to get a free round of drinks for everyone. No one knew how. He just did.

She shook her head to clear these thoughts. No. This wasn't a time to get nostalgic. It would make things even more difficult. She ordered a drink - strong scotch on the rocks. That was her new poison. She was far from her Cosmo and Mojito days. With a swirl of the glass, her gaze swirled, and then stopped. Yes. That one. In the corner. He was quiet, but looked eager. He was young, yet not so young that he would be impressionable. She picked up her glass, and started walking towards him. Her hands were steady, but the same could not be said of her knees.

The knees were always a dead giveaway with her. It is how he would catch her fibbing. When they fought (oh yes they fought!), she would try to be stubborn and stand her ground. She feared losing him, and while her face never showed it, her knees would just not stop quivering. Of course he knew, and of course he let her win, with a little knowing grin. He hated that she feared so much. He would always tell her, 'You cannot stop what may or may not happen. Instead of fearing the possibilities, just experience the present.' Preachy. But then again, it is exactly how he lived.

She walked up to the young man at the club, and struck up a conversation. Mindless small talk. She was an expert at it now. Relatives, in-laws, friends of the husband, even with the husband, practice was aplenty. The husband was on a business trip, and in a way so was she. With the husband and other relatives around, the mindless housework would aid in drowning the screams in her head. For them she was the ideal daughter in law. Always the first to volunteer for any chore, always busy with keeping everything in order, and even assisting her husband with office work. But only she knew how important it was to her that she stay busy all the time. And then, there were days like these. When no amount of work would be enough, when the screams leaped out of her head and surrounded her like a numbing reality. And here she was, finding another way to drown them.

She laughed and drank with the young man and his friends. An hour later, she whispered to him, 'Tell me you have a place', and smiled. A practiced smile. And expressionless eyes. He on the other hand, could not believe his luck. He stuttered a yes, and fumbled in his pocket for the car keys. She lead the way out of the club as he followed, quite shocked.

She was going to do it. She was going to have another one night stand. Maybe it will work eventually. These empty, meaningless encounters would eventually forge an empty meaningless hole in her soul. So that she could finally live without him, and could finally bear to live with his memory.

Some Old Poetry

Found these on an old blog. I was quite a fan of free verse!

UNKNOWINGLY

A sharp knife you hold
Unknowingly, a threat more to the self
Invisible though it seems
solid it is, dangerous as it should be.
As you skip along
taking in the wind, imitating it
trying to lighten all else
blow away all the burdens.

But,
unknowingly, as you went about
A gash in the atmosphere!

The knife has done its job,
made you unwelcome,
carved out a bias!

- Haem Roy. 19th September, 2006. 8:12 pm

WHEN THERE’S NOTHING ELSE TO DREAM

Fantasy worlds
Kings have queens
A quest for rescue
Love blooming with the everlasting flowers
Colours splashing away evil
Imaginations running wild
Optimistic ends
I call these ‘happy dreams’.

But akin to a writer’s block
the dream-flow pipe gets clogged
you can sigh, get nostalgic,
remember the dreams that were,
wait for new ones to come
and revel in the joy of the gone;
‘cos though you wish for dreams more
Nightmares you want none
and are happy at the clogging
for you wont get carried away any more.

And such are the times
you look at the real
Distort, manipulate, add on
make smiling dreams
take them for illusion
or create one
from unreachable realities.
Momentary joys, forced excitement,
smiles that come, not linger.

It is the fun of taking joy
in a pseudo-dream,
when there’s nothing else to dream.


- Haem Roy. 23rd September, 2006. 7:34 pm.

WINDOWS

A peep, a view
letting in a lot
allowing a lot of free flow.

Something hidden
without the boundaries
whats surrounding, the sight does not know.

An aberration to the walled interiors
a relief some say?
Whetting the desire
yet restricting,
an invitation
to gates that are closed tight
just letting the minds of within take flight.

- Haem Roy. 15th September, 2006. 2:04 am.

Running across Rajasthan: Part 4 - Udaipur - the last leg

Rajasthan had already mesmerised us with just two destinations, and we were now eager to visit the rest.

A quick recap:

Two girls. One trip to Rajasthan. All self-planned, self-booked, self-struggled. Challenges, learning, experiences right from planning to actually finding our way around and more - I am telling them here on the blog, because I think future travellers can always do with a little more help and information.

I covered some useful websites, our itinerary and Jaipur here: http://haemlet.blogspot.in/2013/02/running-across-rajasthan.html

After that I wrote about Jaisalmer - MY favourite destination in Rajasthan, here: 

http://haemlet.blogspot.in/2013/02/running-across-rajasthan-jaisalmer.html

Now, I move to the next leg of our trip - Jodhpur and Nathdwara. I am covering both in one post, because we hardly spent any time in these places. That time nonetheless, was well spent.

, and the third was a stay my friend won (yay!) at a five star-hotel, where we spent most of our time eating, jumping on freshly made beds, bathtubs, and generally walking around the hotel.

UDAIPUR

From Nathdwara, regular buses/cabs go to Udaipur - the city of lakes, which is just an hour away.

Thanks to my friend who won a stay there, we were put up at the lavish Sheraton Udaipur, which is right by the Fateh Sagar Lake. Udaipur is not very large, so no matter where you stay, you will never be too far from the attractions. You can stay near one of the two major lakes - Fateh Sagar Lake, that is calmer and more comfortable if you want to be somewhere relaxing, and Lake Pichola, that is the tourist hub, with the City Palace on its banks and the market close by too.

Sightseeing

Honestly, we were in the mood to lounge at the lavish hotel in Udaipur after our tiring trip. But even then, we managed to squeeze in a few attractions. Also the fact that this is not my first time to Udaipur, means I have enough to tell you guys :)

To start off, since we were not very far from Fateh Sagar Lake, we took a share auto (cheap and fun if you are up for it) to the lake. It is quite beautiful, as you stroll down the promenade. The road by the lake is dotted with little stalls selling food and maybe a few camels lounging. You can also do some boating if you like. We just loved walking along watching the sun slowly set.

  

From Fateh Sagar Lake, do take a boat to the Nehru Park that is on an island in the centre. The park also houses a zoo. A sunset from the  park is much recommended.

Saheliyon ki Bari is a park that is also a popular attraction. The park itself has lost it's former glory and you can see the fading signs of the colourful grandeur that it once was. But despite that, do add a visit here if you have time in your itinerary. The water systems are one interesting aspect with fountains that require no pumps.

We were staying at the Sheraton Udaipur, and as the managers knew my friend from her previous visit, they graciously chauffeured us to the Vintage Car museum. We were very excited to get 'Jumpins' at the entry with our ticket - something I personally associate with my childhood.

The cars here were once owned by the royalty of Rajasthan, who have lent it to the museum. Each car has a description beside it, talking about the who owned the beauty, its make and origin.

 The museum also has a quaint little cafe where you can sit and enjoy some lunch/brunch. 

Next, we were dropped at the City Palace. Now, in this visit we decided we'd had enough of palaces, and so decided not to go inside. The palace is just by the lake, and instead, we sat enjoying the view and the breeze.

But for those visiting for the first time, do go inside. The palace is a maze of intriguing rooms and architecture, with stained glass windows, stone carvings, royal relics right from costumes to weapons and more. Udaipur was once the capital of the Mewar kingdom, and the styles at the palace are a fusion of Rajasthani and Mughal. The winding passages, balconies overlooking the lake, the inlay work in the rooms highlight a flamboyance that is quite charming. The zigzag corridors can tire you, and I remember huffing and puffing my way around. It is said that they are built such to keep enemies at bay. The palace complex has several other structures too, and when you visit, do keep aside at least 3 hours here.

 

I will later write a separate review for the Sheraton Udaipur, but right now, I cannot resist sharing a few pictures. This is the view from our room (The Gold Suite!)

The hotel was previously a palace and has been turned into a heritage hotel. While the façade and architecture reflects that, the insides have been completely revamped and renovated with modern facilities and rooms.

Shopping and food

Udaipur is known for it's traditional artifacts, textiles like tie and die, jewellery, precious stones and colourful home decor.

The market is near the Pichola Lake, close to the City Palace, and you can stroll by the several shops there.

Do bear in mind that you must bargain aggressively, as Udaipur gets a lot of foreign tourists, and the prices are usually inflated due to that.

As for food, I did not get the chance to try the food at this visit. So I am going to direct you to a few food bloggers who are awesome at food reviews and recommendations:

Reema talks about finding food during Durga Puja in Udaipur here: http://sumthinzcooking.blogspot.in/2012/10/finding-food-udaipur-this-is-hardly.html#.UWwT1aJ-b3A

Shirin gives you her recommendations of Dal-baati-choorma at Shilpgram Dhaba, laal maas at  Ambrai Restauarant and more here: http://www.foodchants.in/2013/02/eating-in-udaipur-and-around.html. 

My learning

• Use local transport like buses, share tempos and ricks. They are a great learning experience.
• Find the time to just stroll by the lakes, sit, watch the sunset and enjoy the view.
• The people are lovely. Talk to them, smile and they will be willing to help you.

P.S.: Allow me to state again please, pictures are my copyright. No stealing. No copy pasting. Give credit, link back to my blog, respect my rights. You get it right?