Dec 3, 2010

The baggage of maturity

The importance of being mature is often highlighted, for anybody. Teenagers are asked to behave maturely and adults have to make their decisions maturely. And once you are past a certain age, it is mandatory. It is said that being mature helps you deal with the world better, and helps you live better. In other words, it is good for you. It is desirable.

But I don't entirely agree with this. Because for me, maturity brings its own heavy baggage.

Being mature means I can deal with my problems, solve issues and be more patient in order to make the right decisions. It means I can take care of myself. Now, some may ask, how is that bad. Let me tell you how.

When I was in college lets say, if I had some issue, with friends, with guys, with teachers, with family, with almost anything, the first thing I would do is go to my closest group of friends and pour my heart out. Everyone does that at that age. Then it would be a conference with everyone consoling, suggesting, cheering me up and giving collective advice. Whether the advice was useful or not, it was always that conference that helped. Having a few people around you who cared and who were always at hand. You could rely on them to take your stress away, to ease your tension. You could afford to not think at that moment and let them throw in suggestions.

But once you grow older (and I don't mean older by age, but older by mind and experience), you learn to resolve these issues yourself. You can act practically, and not let emotion get in the way most of the times. You don't need consoling or advice to manage your problems. The solutions just come to you and you have to act on them yourself. No experimenting, speculating, trying, like in college. That is what some call maturity.

Now you can see what you lose when you gain maturity? No? You lose that conference. You lose that group of friends who were bonded by misery and adolescent issues. Yes, these friends will always be there when you need, but you won't need them that much. You won't rely on them to help you out. Because you can help yourself very well.

For me, that means losing touch with some of those people. It means isolation. It means that I am happy with myself and that's why I am going further away from these people. I don't meet them every week and discuss my life. I may call them once a week maybe and we may talk what is happening, but they are not involved in my hair fall problem, or the issue of the staining of my white shirt. They are no longer as close to me.

I do believe that isolation and maturity go hand in hand. And you cannot do anything about it. You can try your best to keep in touch with that group of people, but it can never be the same. That bond of misery and whining cannot exist any more, and that always makes the company feel different.

That always makes you realise that grown-ups are so lonely. And why being a kid once in a while is so important.

1 comment:

whirlwind said...

you've put my thoughts into words Haem. we really take a lot of things for granted, and realise the distances have becomes unbearbale only when it is too late. :S sure it requires effort, but is'nt that the point. that meeting and spending time with those close few loved ones is worth all the effort?