Oct 11, 2007

Of trials and trials... and much much more

Ok, again I was on a two-month hibernation. Fact is I just didnt find enough words to put down the mess that was in my head. And I wont try to. Some things as i believe are better left abstract and tangled. Just like my thoughts.

With applications and interviews and no answers and more applications and more interviews and lots of confusion and advice, it has been one hell of a time trying to get through a decent company. And its more tough when you know you have potential, which can be honed, and therefore refuse to settle for sumthing sub-standard. Some blame, some call you fussy, some praise your patience, some worry, some are more confident of you than you are - but no one knows whats in your head. And they better not, cos you hardly know it entirely. Flashes come once in a while, all leading in different directions...

Add to all that confusion, a certain difficult personal phase. A wound, a gash that stopped you while you just about to sprint the path towards bliss, and left you hurt and disappointed and incomplete. The wound doesnt heal, in fact, any path reminds you of what it did, of where you were about to go and you were stopped without your fault or the road's. A small para i read somewhere seems very relevant:

I may not get to see you as often as I like
I may not get to hold you in my arms all night
But deep in my heart I truly know
You’re the one that I loved, and it’s been hard to let go.

(The source: http://youtube.com/watch?v=mEqhBmPG350)

Now... I am a Trainee at an ad agency. Awaiting a positive direction, awaiting a path to life and more. Exploring the world around me, exploring myself. The bubble around me is become larger as more and more things are incorporated. Some leave, some change, but their effects linger. The hope and desire to restoration lingers. And I work to change things...