Jul 20, 2007

DECIDING WHETHER TO CARE...

Human relations are funny... strange... tiring... and most frustrating. They always leave you confused.
You are always stuck on what to do, and every damn thing turns out to be the wrong thing, or it has something which has to go wrong. Something has to prick, somewhere.

If you don't care, you are the selfish, insensitive, snob. If you care, you are the emotional fool, prone to all the hurt in the world.

And it is impossible to stay in between, cos you are just swinging then, going where the wind takes you, losing your will, like a wind-chime - pleasant but tied and pushed by the wind.

I don't know IF I SHOULD CARE. Everytime I do, i feel the prick. I am like a sponge. Absorbing, becoming heavy, taking in every damn drop. It hurts, it pricks, it even tatters and tears me.

But I would hate being the insensitive stone too. I can't.

Why does life's gratification always include a choice between the sponge and stone? Why do both hurt? Can it never be harmless?

Sigh! Maybe i care too much. I still do. But I try and hide it now from everyone, from myself too.But, I am tired of the pricks, tired of absorbing.

I try to change. I try. But, I can't get to being indifferent.

Maybe I am just a fool. But, I still don't know whether to care.

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