Dec 20, 2006

Draping thoughts


Yesterday was Traditional Day!! And i was in a Saree, this time black n scarlet.

As i draped the saree around myself in the morning I was thinking of what I would do all day long and how much fun I would have. I was draping my thoughts around me along with the saree. And i was feeling nice, and sexy and happy. It would be my last traditional day. I had friends performing on stage. I had friends in the hostel which open to visitors only on this day.
And to add to that was my Literature class and my gang of close friends. The excitement and thought of having a good time naturally came.
I strutted into college, looked around, didnt find many people I knew (which is
strange cos i can confidently say I know a LOT of people). I finally bumped into some classmates and was hanging around with them. The funniest part was me and my best friend trying to locate each other when our phones had no network! I would go into the hall and she would come out to look for me and vice versa. This must have happened quite a few times after which I finally found her.

What I found strange, more with myself than with anyone else was a feeling I had. I am very comfy in a saree and was free to jump n run and dance. But I didnt feel like it. I was quite low and not at all motivated or even excited to do anything. I felt almost despressed and without any reason. I wanted to be normal and jump and run about but I wasnt enthusiastic enough. I was feeling lost, isolated from everything. And I did not know WHY!!It felt like quite a strange mix in my head... various emotions bubbling without reason or even definition.

SOMETHING’S MISSING

a VOID- hollowness
Breeze drilling through you
It’s not just your ReflEction in that puddle
that’s restless, It’s a reflection of you.

An incomplete WhOLe you feel like
A leaking jar –
filled to the brim
You don’t know where that bastard piercing is
that’s draining the you out of you.




© HAEM ROY


Getting myself to dance I hung around in college till 7 with some friends and enjoyed the college ambience, which never ceases to wonder me and fill me with awe and pride. I didnt visit the hostel. I didnt meet many people from my class. I cant say I enjoyed a lot, but I had a little fun. I went on a picture clicking spree and enjoyed it.


Today was a relatively better day. Some matters were discussed in class and for the first time the class was united and we made a decision. For the first time we could spot the enthusiasm or agreement on everyone's faces and it propelled us forward. We are making an effort as a class to do various things, to preserve our memory as a class and good ones too. And these good memories are slowly getting created. Bit by bit our class is becoming a class. I am waiting for the day when the differently coloured pieces of glass becme a meaningful collage and create something different, unique and one.
Now its time for me to sit down and sort stuff out. Prelim exams in Feb(aaargh!). Presentations in Jan. University paper drafts due this week. Honours submissions. And I am lethargic! I need to sort myself out and then all my work and begin it on a full scale.
Sigh... hope I am able to finish everything on time...

2 comments:

aniruddha said...

Haem, that was really cool to read the exact impression of ur mind ...the state of ur mind
nd da thots dat came to ur mind ..

I think we think too complex in the day to day life ...and the simplicity is just lost ...or rarely realised

but i really appreciate that theres sum1 like u too ..

Nice and Simple ...Straight from the heart ...one word 'Cool'

Aniruddh

Anonymous said...

I remember the day quite vividly, also the way we sat outside the hall, just wondering why are we so sad..but finding no answers, yet hangin around till the evening..and then clicked pictures with terry!:)